MURDER OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE BY TEACHERS!!!

Hello!!!
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

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Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america .."

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

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dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

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My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

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"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

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Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

EVER SEEN BUNCH OF BANANA LIKE THIS????

IF GODS WERE SOFTWARE ENGINEERS THEN...

== Software Roles for Heaven ==

==

@@ Indian Mythological Gods as Software Engineeers @@

>>>>

Brahma >>>>>>>>>> Systems Installation

Vishnu >>>>>>>>>> Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi >>>>>>>>>> Finance and Accounts consultant

Saraswati >>>>>>>>>> Training and Knowledge Management

Shiva >>>>>>>>>> DBA (Crash Specialist)

Ganesh >>>>>>>>>> Quality Assuarance & Documentation

Narada >>>>>>>>>> Data transfer

Yama >>>>>>>>>> Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant

Chitragupta >>>>>>>> IDP & Personal Records

Apsaras >>>>>>>>>> Downloadable Viruses

Devas >>>>>>>>>> Mainframe Programmers

Surya >>>>>>>>>> Solaris Administrator

Rakshasas >>>>>>>>>> In house Hackers

Ravan >>>>>>>>>> Internet Explorer WWWF

Lakshman >>>>>>>>>> Support Software and Backup

Hanuman >>>>>>>>>> Linux/s390

Jatayu >>>>>>>>>> Firewall

Dronacharya >>>>>>> System Programmer

Vishwamitra >>>>>>> Sr. Manager Projects

Valmiki >>>>>>>>>> Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)

Krishna >>>>>>>>>> SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )

Arjun >>>>>>>>>> Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)

Abhimanyu >>>>>>>>> Trainee Programmer

Draupadi >>>>>>>>> Motivation & Team building

Bhima >>>>>>>>> MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM

Duryodhana >>>>>>>>> Microsoft product Written in VB

Karna >>>>>>>>> Contract programmer

Dhrutarashtra >>>>>> Visual C++

Gandhari >>>>>>>>> Dreamweaver

100 Kauravas >>>>>> Microsoft Service Packs and patches